for the mamas
YOU GUYS, this morning I had to pee and apparently it was time to party because my two daughters and the dog decided to join. Privacy is a distant feeling I’m afraid I’ll never experience again. AND YOU KNOW WHAT, that’s ok. Because this is a season. An amazing, challenging, hold on for the ride because it's not stopping season. Blessed does not even begin to describe how I feel about being Everly and Eloise’s mom. I often tell Ethan I love them so much it hurts… like physically hurts. Any momma’s feel this way?
It may only be me, but I’m stuck in the middle of wanting them to never grow one more second older while also looking forward to the next stage. Maybe that stage won’t involve so much poop. Why is there always so much poop? [One can dream.] Anyway, I fall into the guilt trap more often than I would like to admit. It’s my inner battle.
Am I doing this discipline thing right? Am I with them too much? Do they need a break? Do I need a break? LOL! Is this a teachable moment or should I just pretend I didn’t see it? Do I make Ev give the toy back every time she takes it from Wheezy? Or should Wheezy learn? LOL! The questions NEVER END in my head.
You know what gives me the most trouble though? When people say “Just enjoy every last second, because before you know it, they will be out of the house”. Ok, people, I get it but also EVERY LAST SECOND?
Like yesterday when I stepped in dog puke getting to the girls' room to find Wheezy playing with her OWN poop (I was serious about the poop thing). THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
This statement is an enormous amount of pressure for a new mom. No one needs to be feeling this pressure. YES, the good moments far outweigh the bad ones, but Mama you’re not going to enjoy every one of them. And that doesn’t make you a bad Mama. It makes you HUMAN. Being a mom is hard work. It’s ok to say it. It’s ok to be tired (sometimes I wonder if I’ll ever feel rested again). It’s ok to be anxious. It’s ok to be lonely. It’s ALL OK. Because you know what? We are human. Actually, fricking AMAZING humans doing the very best we can to make sure that our babies feel loved, supported, and safe. You know the hours you put in, all the blood sweat and tears. So, when you are in the middle of a good moment, savor it. SAVOR EVERY SECOND OF THAT GOOD MOMENT. And when you’re in the middle of a hard one, recognize it and know you will get through, knowing there is a good moment right around the corner.
The good the bad, the beautiful the ugly- it's all wrapped up in motherhood. Don't lose sight of the magnitude of your work. You are a real life superhero.
Love as always,